My Instagram bio used to read “A city girl with a taste for the tropical life.” Pineapples, palm prints, coconuts, I love and need it all. So since it’s Friday, we’re gonna be running on island time. But, I’m getting pretty personal today and talking about why I no longer feel the need to prove myself.
A Little Background
Back in January, I talked about how I wanted to be more personal on this blog. As much as I love sharing and talking about outfit details. I do, I really do. I also want to share my highs, my lows, my struggles and my everyday life. Pretty much, just showing you guys that I don’t have a “perfect life.”
I went through a really hard time last year that taught me so much about myself. And I know that, for me, when I was in a dark place, it helped me reading and seeing posts where people shared their struggles and their past. It gave me hope and made me feel less alone. I don’t mean to get super deep! But, what inspired me to write this post was actually this look. I’m truly living for this palm print dress and the color. I don’t think I can put into words how much I love tropical inspired pieces. You guys already know I’m OBSESSED with pineapples so anything tropical related goes hand in hand. I truly think at times, I just want to go off and live on an island or move to CA with all the palm trees. As foolish as it sounds, when I started this blog I felt like I could never admit that.
I’ll let you in on a little secret. I classify myself as a New York City blogger. I was born in New York City, I went to school in New York City and I now work in New York City. But, my physical address of where I sleep at night is in New Jersey, specifically a city about 15 minutes outside of New York. I’ve never admitted that on my blog. I always felt the need to prove that I was a New Yorker and really throw it in your face. I had to eat, sleep and breath the city and make it known. I truly consider myself a New Yorker because it’s where I spend most of my time and where I’ve built my life. It just so happens that I live in New Jersey because rent is no joke in the city! The point is, I knew who I was, but I felt as if people had an opinion of me and it was so important for me to persuade them. I felt as if I needed to prove who I was and so my outfits and blog had to reflect the city and scream New York. Any time anyone talked about the city, I felt the need to throw in that I too live here, I too feel that way, yeah me too on all points.
Once I felt the need to prove I was a New Yorker, I felt the need to prove everything. Yes, I too love that brand. Yes, I too shop there. Oh, you like Harry Potter? I loved Harry Potter since I was a kid. Yes, I work for a magazine. OMG, I love the fashion industry that I AM a part of. It was truly such a vicious cycle. One that my previous work place enforced. I know I’m a hard worker. When you’ve been raised by a single mother and see her struggle, it encourages you and inspires you. So I work hard to make her proud and to better our lives. But, at my old job, I was told everyday that I wasn’t good, I wasn’t giving it my all, I do everything wrong, why would I think that was right, why would you speak to this person or speak during this meeting, I know we told you to do this, but you should have used your better judgement, she didn’t tell you what she wanted, but you should have known and anticipated. I went from trying to prove who I was to not knowing who I was because I kept being told who I was, which made me want to prove myself even more.
I Am Who I Am
The past two years have truly challenged my character and tested my strength, but it honestly taught me so much about myself. I truly hit rock bottom. I felt lost and I felt like a loser. And while I still have my struggles, I realize that after coming back from that and pulling myself out of that dark place, there isn’t much to get upset about because whatever it is, I’ve probably been through worse. Sure, I may not have as many followers or as many likes on Instagram. But, it’s nothing compared to being taken into a conference room and bullied until I was in tears. Sure, I may not have been included in a top NYC bloggers roundup, but at least I’m not getting passive aggressive emails while out to dinner and then having to run back to the office at 9pm.
My point is, you know who you truly are or who you want to be. And if someone doesn’t see that or thinks differently then that’s their problem and not yours. Live your truth! So hello, my name is Linda Quinones. I am a proud New Yorker that so happens to live in New Jersey and actually enjoy spending my time in NJ on the weekends. Just because I love New York, doesn’t mean that my aesthetic needs to be brick walls and taxi cabs. I actually love a vibrant green background because I’m truly an island, pineapple, palm tree kind of gal on the inside who also loves the city. And if that doesn’t make sense to you or you disagree then that’s fine, but I know who I am and I’m pretty happy with who that is.
Nordstrom Anniversary Sale & A Giveaway
On a lighter note… Early Access for the Nordstrom Anniversary Sale started yesterday. I was personally really excited to shop it, even though I didn’t do a post on it. I’ll be honest, I just prefer seeing items on figure rather than a collage so I’ll be sharing once my items come in. But I created a tab above of what I picked up and what I still have my eye on! Also, Dana and I are so happy to announce the winner of our giveaway below. And if you didn’t win, no worries! We have something fun planned for next week!