How’s your week going so far?
It’s actually been a pretty smooth week for me, but I’ve been exhausted every morning getting up for work. I seriously need to get back into my routine of going to bed at 10 because I just can’t seem to drag myself out of bed.
Now on to today’s post.
I try to make some sort of connection between what I’m wearing and what I want to talk about on the blog. So random, but I just got these new black jeans and I’ve been loving them. They are cropped and I think the slight flare at the bottom is a nice touch. And it got me thinking about all things new.
I’ve tried to make my content for the month of January really focused on starting fresh and getting your life together. It’s the start of a new year and I find that this is when we are most motivated and inspired. So to continue on with that theme of new and starting fresh, we’re talking about something a little personal today. I’m sharing a few experiences I’ve had with past “friends” and why I think it’s okay to cut people out of your life.
5 REASONS TO CUT PEOPLE OUT OF YOUR LIFE
PUT YOURSELF FIRST & LISTEN TO YOUR INSTINCTS
I’m honestly a big believer in this. It’s okay to be selfish sometimes and put yourself first.
And by selfish, I don’t mean not sharing your Doritos with a hungry friend or not giving up a seat on the train for someone with a broken leg.
I mean, if there is someone in your life who does nothing but take and never gives, who brings you down, who uses you or basically is just not a good friend or not good for you mentally, it’s okay to put yourself first, cut people out of your life and show that person the door.
Last year, I made some tough decisions and chose to cut people out of my life. Were they all around bad people? No, of course not. But, they were also hot and cold most of the time. Sometimes I would think, wow this person is great and then other times they would make me question myself and make me feel guilty for no reason.
I decided to trust my instinct and realize that the cons outweighed the pros and they had to go.
CUT OUT THE NEGATIVITY
You do not need negative energy around. I repeat, you do not need negative energy around you. Now say it with me, you do not need negative energy around.
If someone is bringing you down and not supporting you and making you feel bad, then they gotta go. The people in your life should be building you up, not tearing you down.
And I think it’s also important to pay attention to how they carry themselves.
If they’re constantly complaining, being rude to people and overall just being a ball of negativity, it has an impact on you. Whether, it causes you to join in on that negative attitude so you start complaining or it just puts you in a bad head space, believe me it does have an impact on you.
I try to see the positive in most situations, especially this year it’s been a big personal goal for me. Sure, it’s hard and I’m not perfect but I don’t need anyone standing in my way and bringing me down when I’m trying to stay positive.
So if you have people in your life that fit that description then they gotta go. And honestly, people who are that negative know they are and know they are driving people away.
IF THEY’RE NOT ADDING VALUE TO YOUR LIFE, LET THEM GO
I’m not saying, if they can’t do anything for you like get you a job or a discount at your favorite store to let them go.
What I am saying is, my best friends, encourage me and inspire me. I can tell them all of my fears when it comes to my personal life, my career or my blog. And I know, they’ll build me up and inspire me even with a little tough love sometimes.
And then I’ve had friends who have made fun of my blog, who have led me astray with some bad advice or who blog for the wrong reasons and try to get me to run my blog like they run theirs. I’ve had friends who wanted me to do favors for free, but would never invite me to any fun events with them or even just a friendly dinner.
I’m still figuring out how to balance everything in life and I don’t need to try to fit someone in who doesn’t value me and who doesn’t add value in my life.
If you find that a friend keeps taking and taking and never gives, that’s a red flag. If you find that you’re really the rock in a relationship and the other person isn’t carrying their weight, that’s a sign.
Don’t waste your time keeping people around who don’t better you and encourage you, let those people go.
YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE TO EXPLAIN YOURSELF
I’m a bad texter. It’s a well known fact.
When I worked in editorial, my two bosses would always text and call me late at night, first thing in the morning and even on weekends. I became scared of my phone, as silly as it sounds. Everyone close to me knows this. It’s not personal, it’s just something I’m working through and I’ve gotten a little better at it.
My best friend and I can go two weeks without texting and then facetime or have dinner and everything is fine. I don’t have to explain myself, there are no hard feelings. And then, I had a friend who constantly would get upset when I didn’t respond right away. She would think I was mad at her, she would be mad at me, she would make me feel bad and always ask where I was or what I was doing. I constantly felt like I had to explain myself and it put me in the worse mood.
I remember listening to Damsel In Dior’s podcast with Catt Sadler and they talked about their friendship and how they manage it with not seeing each other often.
To sum it up, they basically said you have to value the time you have with a person and value the current moment. You shouldn’t feel like you have to explain yourself and explain why you haven’t talked. You shouldn’t waste time together by bringing up the fact that you haven’t spoken or seen each other in a week because it doesn’t matter.
And I love that. Just because you don’t talk to someone daily doesn’t mean they aren’t thinking of you or they don’t consider you a friend. Life is busy. Being an adult is hard. Sometimes I don’t have time to text or talk, but when I see you next, I just wanna have fun and catch up not feel bad that I was busy working towards my goals and didn’t text you for two days.
RELATIONSHIPS ARE WORK, BUT ONLY TO A CERTAIN EXTENT
We all live busy lives.
If I’m not working, I’m rushing home to work on the blog. And since I’m someone who brings lunch to work everyday, I gotta get lunch ready for tomorrow. And I’m a homebody so I typically have my shows to watch. The point is, I like my routine. I’ve always been this way and a routine keeps me happy and on schedule.
With that being said, you have to be very important for me to break out of my schedule. If I’m going to dinner with you, getting home late and feeling exhausted in the morning, you better be worth it.
I have my best friends where I know if I spend a night out with them, I’m going to have so much fun. The conversation is gonna flow out naturally and I’m gonna be in a great mood the next day. And then I had people in my life where I would go out, spend money I didn’t want to spend, just want to go home the whole time, run out of things to talk about and end up cranky the next day.
I had a friend who was so hot and cold and I never knew where we stood so I was always on edge around her. And every time I would leave her and meet up with my boyfriend, I would breath a sigh of relief because I could just relax and be myself again and not tip toe around anyone.
Everything in life takes work, even relationships. But you should only have to work to a certain extent. If you’re trying so hard to come up with things to say or feel like you have to act a certain way around people then it’s just not worth it.
I hope you enjoyed today’s post. It’s the first month of a new year, this is the time to get our lives together and make changes! Like I said, I had to make some tough decisions last year and cut people out of my life, but it was for the better. I’ve come to terms with it and I wanted to share my experience because we all have those people in our lives that bring us down, but for some reason we keep them around. It’s 2018 and they gotta go!
Thank you so much for reading and I hope you finish the week off strong!!