Happy Valentine’s Day!
I’m fully regretting being a lazy couch potato this weekend because I barely got any blog work done and now I feel so behind. Thank goodness I have Friday off because I definitely needed it!
In honor of my favorite day, Valentine’s Day, I’m bringing Eddie back to the blog and getting personal about our relationship today. Eddie and I met when we were in first grade and have been dating since the end of our freshmen year of high school so that’s like 11 years maybe. Pretty much a long time. We’ve been through so many ups and downs and our relationship has definitely been tested over the years. We’re not perfect, but we’ve learned so much from each other and he is truly my best friend, my person and the love of my life.
So today I wanted to share a few key things that I’ve learned from being in a long term relationship and hopefully provide some advice if you’re dating someone or if you too are in a long term relationship.
Eddie’s Outfit Details
REMEMBER TO DATE
I’ve talked about this a few times so I’ll keep it short.
Being in a long term relationship is great, but you have to remember to actually date. I’m talking cliche dinner and a movie or whatever your heart desires, but get out there and spend time together and make an effort. Get all dressed up if you want and feel those butterflies in your stomach again.
Eddie & I are totally guilty of forgetting to do this, but I feel like when we do go out on dates, we’re happier and our relationship is healthier.
SWITCH UP YOUR ROUTINE
Eddie & I fell into a routine where we would spend every weekend at my house with his dog Kenny (the true love of my life tbh) and we would eat fast food, watch Netflix and pretty much be couch potatoes.
Sure, it was great and relaxing. And honestly what I needed after a stressful week. But, we did this literally every week. It’s hard to explain, but falling into this routine just made us fight often. We didn’t make much of an effort, I would nap while he played video games and then I got mad at him for spending hours playing video games.
Since then we’ve been switching up our routine and rotating where we spend our weekends and what we do. We’ve been going to the movies, exploring the neighborhood and still having our relaxing Netflix weekends when necessary. Switching it up has been so healthy for our relationship and we’re always excited for the weekend and we’ve honestly stopped fighting as often as we used to.
COMMUNICATE! THE SILENT TREATMENT DOES NO ONE A FAVOR!
I’m totally guilty of this and it’s honestly something I’m still working on.
When I get mad at Eddie, I hang up the phone, ignore texts or give him the flat our silent treatment if we’re together. Even if he asks me over and over again what’s wrong or if I’m okay, I won’t budge. I’m stubborn and he did something to piss me off so like he’s pretty much dead to me right now.
While that’s my natural instinct, I’ve also matured enough to know that, that’s not the right way to handle issues or healthy for a relationship. I’ve been making more of an effort to talk things out with Eddie when I get upset. As women, we expect men to be mind readers. I naturally assume that he knows exactly what he did wrong or what he said wrong, but truth be told, he doesn’t.
So I have to be honest and then move on. If you dwell on every small issue, it’s not healthy and if you hold it in, you’re gonna explode and it’ll be worse than if you just addressed every issue head on.
YOUR RELATIONSHIP IS YOUR BUSINESS
This is something I strongly believe in. Some of you may disagree with me because you always confide in your girlfriends, but I think sometimes certain things are better left unsaid.
I’ve learned over the years that my relationship with my boyfriend is my business and it’s not always a good thing to talk to your friends about it.
Fighting in a relationship is natural. We all have those moments where we see red and get so mad at our significant other, we then run to our friends and complain and vent and they agree with us and give us guidance and then we get over it and things move on. Over the years, I’ve found that even though you move on, your friends don’t.
They start to look at your boyfriend differently, they slowly stop liking him and they have opinions on your relationship. And soon, you feel like you can’t talk to them about your relationship and you feel like you can’t hang out with your boyfriend and your friends together. Just like once you tell your mom you’re no longer friends with someone and you can literally never become friends with that person again because you told your mom already (you know what I’m talking about).
From my own personal experience, I’ve just found that it gets messy. Which is why I believe, your relationship = your business. Talk it out with your significant other and move on rather than venting with your friends and then always feel like its a black cloud hovering over you.
FIGHTING IS HEALTHY
You know that saying that you see everywhere on Pinterest that basically says, you only appreciate the sun when you have rain or that you have to go through hard times to appreciate the good times. I think that really applies in relationships.
If you never fight then you won’t know what its like to handle any kind of conflict in your relationship. You’ll make a big deal out of the smallest things because you’re not used to arguing. And because I think that as humans we all get annoyed with someone every now and then, you’re most likely not fighting because you’re holding it in and just letting things slide. If that’s how you deal with issues then by all means, do your thing. But, if it’s boiling up inside you and making you resentful, you have to let it out.
So don’t be upset and feel like the world is falling apart when you have an argument every now and then. Use it as an opportunity to learn and grown in your relationship.
DOESN’T MATTER HOW BUSY YOU ARE, SEND A GOOD MORNING & A GOOD NIGHT TEXT
It’s the small things that really matter.
During the week, I’m constantly going. Getting up early and rushing to work, dealing with a busy day at work, heading home to work on the blog and still try to get in a good night’s sleep. I feel like I’m running on auto pilot Monday through Friday.
Eddie and I aren’t constantly texting throughout the day because I’m a bad texter and because we’re both busy. But, we always make sure to say good morning, check in with each other when we’re at home or at work and send a quick good night text.
It may seem small and we could totally be in the minority since we’re not chatting all day. But, waking up and knowing someone is thinking of you or unwinding after your day and seeing a reminder that someone loves you really does matter and make the biggest difference.
BE OPEN ABOUT MONEY
I feel like money in relationships is always a hot button topic that make people uncomfortable to talk about. But, if you’ve been dating for a long time then you need to be open and honest.
I personally do not believe in going dutch or splitting a check or whatever you want to call it. That’s just my personal belief and Eddie agrees with me. I don’t know if any of you have ever seen The Joy Luck Club, but there’s a scene in there where the wife and husband split every thing even their grocery bill. They get into a fight on who should pay for the ice cream since he ate it more and at dinner, he wants her to pay more since her meal was more expensive. Granted, this was an exaggerated scenario, but it always just made me feel uncomfortable.
Eddie and I are open about money and I think it’s healthy for us. We don’t have a specific strategy when it comes to paying for things, but I’m okay with picking up the tab and so is he. We really have a partnership when it comes to that. He knows when sometimes money is tight for me and I know when it’s tight for him. I think it’s healthy and one person doesn’t have to feel pressured if they can’t afford a date night or you guys have to sit awkwardly at a restaurant wondering if you should offer to pick up the tab or split it.
Just like you should be open and honest about everything else, the same goes when it comes to discussing money.
I hope you guys enjoyed todays post! This is the last of the Valentine’s Day themed posts and I hope you guys have been enjoying them because I truly enjoyed working on them. But if you’re so over V-Day then I don’t judge you.
But I hope regardless of your plans today that you all have a great Valentine’s Day and if you don’t have a Valentine, you can be mine!! You can never have enough Valentines!
Thank you so much for reading!