Happy Monday Friends!
I’m so excited to share my first outfit post from Puerto Rico! Going through these photos gave me all the feels. I’m still battling those post vacation blues and want to go back so badly. We took these photos while exploring Old San Juan and I was in love with all of the colorful houses. I was running all over the place, constantly in awe and trying to capture it all. So just a heads up, most of my Puerto Rico outfit post will be photo heavy!
This was definitely my favorite dress I wore on the trip. I was twirling and swinging all over the place because I loved the way the dress moved.
Post Grad Life and Why You Shouldn’t Compare Yourself to Others
Today, I wanted to talk about post grad life. Now that graduations are pretty much over and done with and the real world is setting in, I’m here to tell you that everything is going to be okay. Post grad life is one of the hardest times in your life, but I also think it’s the best. It’s really a time to focus on yourself and figure out what you want and who you want to be. Which can be tough when you feel like everyone else around you has figured things out and you start playing that nasty comparison game. I get it.
Even now, I still struggle with comparing myself to others, not only in my career, but also when it comes to blogging and social media, etc. It’s such a vicious cycle and it’s easy to get caught up in it. So I wanted to share my personal experience with post grad life and why you shouldn’t feel the need to compare yourself to others.
To give you some background, when I graduated, I still had to complete an internship before receiving my diploma. I was really excited to have a plan and have my summer set after graduation. When I started interning, I would come home at night so tired and would eat dinner, take a nap on the couch until I got up and rolled myself into bed. So I was pretty focused on myself. But, when I would log onto Facebook or Twitter, that nasty little comparison game would start up as you start to compare yourself to others out there.
SOCIAL MEDIA VS. REALITY
You wanna hear a secret? Post grads share things on social media just to try and look important. Sounds harsh, but honestly it’s true. I did it, my friends have done it and with each wave of graduates I see on social media, they do it as well.
When I started interning in PR, I would constantly tweet and talk about how I was interacting with editors and magazines and tried to make myself look uber important. The reality was, yeah I was on the emails with editors and different magazines, but it was mostly my boss saying I would schedule a messenger to which I responded “messenger scheduled!” Yep, that’s me, a super important and chic post grad. I remember one time, all the interns were told to dress in black for press day. I got all dressed up, posted a photo of my outfit on Instagram with the caption “Missoni F/W Press Day.” My role during the day was *drum roll please* tell my boss when editors arrived and sometimes *drum roll please* escorted the editors into the conference room and told them my boss would be right with them. But, obviously I wasn’t going to post that on social media, so I sugar coated and embellished a bit.
I remember one month after graduating, I stumbled upon this girl’s Facebook that I graduated with and she noted her title as “Director” of sales or recruitment or something. I spiraled after seeing that. Here I was, working long hours and being an unpaid, lowly intern and this girl is already a director. I swear, you study so hard for four years to graduate college and when you do graduate, you’re still naive and fall for everything. Looking back now, it’s obvious this girl who was fresh out of college wasn’t a director, but back then it made me insecure about where I was in life.
Honestly, I see it summer after summer with post grads. They post things on social media like name dropping brands, constantly talking about how hard they work, posting pictures of NYC or their new city, etc and the reality is, life isn’t as chic and simple as their edited photo or thought out witty tweet. Which is okay! Everyone should be able to live their life and post what they want! But, before you spiral out of control and start playing that nasty ‘compare yourself to others’ game that will leave you feeling bad about yourself, just remember that social media isn’t real. No one is going to tweet, wow post grad life is hard or wow I hate my job and I’m exhausted. Of course not, they’re going to post their highlight reel. So don’t compare yourself to someone’s edited social media post! Remind yourself to put things into perspective.
EVERYONE IS TRYING TO FIGURE OUT LIFE
The reality is, your first job is probably not going to be your forever job. You may even end up hating your first job. When I graduated, I jumped around and only stayed at one place for about six months. Or you may not even land a job right away and it may take until fall. Or you may realize that what you thought you wanted to do isn’t what you actually want to do. And that’s okay.
I think when you graduate college, you’re in this mindset where you’re trying to prove yourself. Especially to your peers, you’re trying to prove that you made it and that you’re successful. Which is fine, but I also think this feeling can stand in the way of you actually figuring out your life and chasing your dreams. By that, let’s say you landed a job with this great company that everyone knows, naturally you blast it all over social media. Fast forward to two months in and you realize it’s not for you, but you stick with it because of the name of the company and because you feel like you need to prove something to your peers. And you don’t.
What I’m trying to say is, everyone’s timeline is different. It’s hard to understand that because your whole life has been a thought out and planned timeline. You start as a freshman and move on to being a sophomore then a junior then a senior. It’s not rocket science, it’s just the timeline you follow. But, when you graduate, there’s no timeline, everyone moves at their own pace. I started with an internship, moved on to several jobs, became unemployed and now have a job I love. I know people who didn’t land a job until months later, but are so happy now. And people who landed a job right away and some loved it and some didn’t.
Everyone is different and everyone is just trying to figure out life. You may feel alone and less successful than your peers, but don’t, because at the end of the day everyone is on their own journey just trying to figure something out.
LIVE YOUR LIFE – POST GRAD LIFE IS THE BEST
I personally felt so free when I graduated college. I no longer had to take classes I didn’t want to take. I no longer had to see people in school I didn’t want to see. I no longer had to care about what anyone thought about me because I wouldn’t have to see them. It’s honestly one of the things that pushed me to start a blog post graduation. In school, I was always so scared people would judge me or laugh at me, but post grad, I couldn’t give a damn what they thought. I just lived my life. And you should too.
I think post grad life is one of the hardest times in your life. You have little to no money and the anticipation of the student loan cloud is looming over you, you may be in a new place without your friends and the comfort you’re used to, you are literally at the bottom of the totem pole at work and have to work harder than anyone else to get your foot in the door. But, honestly I think it’s one of the best times in your life.
When I look back at that time in my life, although it was hard, I can’t help but smile. That’s when I was the most driven and would work hard and long hours and was happy about it and I was always so excited to learn new things and would just take it all in. I made new friends, mentors and even met my best friend at this time. I learned how to budget and make my little to no paycheck work for me.
Ignorance truly is bliss. You’re so new to the work force and the adult world that even though you may be scared, you have no fears. You just go for things. So, my advice? Take it all in. Who cares what anyone else is doing or thinking? Focus on yourself because there is so much going on and so much to learn and accomplish. So instead of sitting on your phone focusing on what others are doing, go out and prioritize yourself and don’t compare yourself to others.
HONESTLY, JUST RELAX
Easier said than done I know, but truly, just relax.
I am the most anxious person you have ever met. Thank goodness for my angel boyfriend Eddie who wouldn’t panic if the building was on fire because he is my total opposite and calms me down. When I was a new grad, I would constantly think about an imaginary and made up timeline in my mind and stress myself out. When I turned 22, I was STRESSED. I was like omg I should be in this stage of my life, I’m already so old, my time to do xyz is dwindling down, I need to accomplish this in one year. Everyone and I mean everyone was like wow you’re so young, you still have time and all I would think is, are they crazy?? I’m not young?? Like, I don’t have time to do all of this.
Do you hear me right now? At the age of 22 I was calling myself old. Don’t be like me and stress yourself out for no reason. You have time and everything will truly work itself out. There are so many people I knew in college who had a hard time finding a job and had a hard time post grad that are now employed and happy. For me personally, I had a quick rise where I was always working and was lucky to work for all these different companies. And then one day I wasn’t and I hated my job and I quit. And all of a sudden all of the people who didn’t have life figured out suddenly did and here I was, who thought I had it all figured out, was suddenly lost.
Like I said, everyone’s timeline is different. It may happen fast for you or it may take a while and either way that’s okay. Your post grad life is where you truly get to know yourself and what you want. You will learn so much in that time and become the person you want to be. When I look back to who I was when I was in college to who I was post grad to who I am now, I’m a totally different person, but I think I changed for the better. And I have a ton of experiences and stories to thank for that. So stop stressing about what you think you should be doing and what your peers are doing and just relax and enjoy the ride.
That’s all for me today! I hope you enjoyed this post. Throughout the summer, I’ll be sharing more post grad life themed posts because I know how hard this time can be. And honestly I’ve been out of college for four years now and still need that reassurance and reminder every once in a while so I think we can all benefit from a little positive reminder.
Thank you so much for reading and have a great week!