Happy Monday! And Happy First Day of October!
I hope you had a great weekend. Let’s take a moment to catch up, shall we?
First, my apologies on only having one post up last week. My full time job became a little more hectic and overwhelming than I anticipated so I really had to focus all of my energy there and take a step back from the blog.
Additionally, I had to take a day trip to Ohio for work on Thursday. I didn’t mention it the week before because I was hoping if I didn’t write it down, it wouldn’t be set in stone. I spent most of last week stressing out about the trip, to the point where I had a constant stomach cramp and was really irritable. For business trips, the company has a small private plane that flies between New York and Ohio about 4 times a day. I’m an anxious flyer to begin with and this small plane doesn’t help. You seriously feel every little bump up there. The morning flight was fine, but the flight back at night was so turbulent, my entire body was shaking and I was on the verge of tears for about an hour. Shout to to my coworkers who held my hand and tried to distract me. Let’s just say, I was so relieved once the day trip was over so that I could stop stressing over it.
The fact that my normal everyday routine was different on Thursday because of my trip, leads me into today’s post. We’re talking all about change.
When I was in college, I saw this image, listing the traits of successful people and unsuccessful people. It basically said, successful people like change and they thrive on change. Naturally, I wanted to be successful, so I kept telling myself, yep, that’s me, I like change. Repeat after me, I like change. As I would scroll through Pinterest, I would see a ton of motivating quotes pushing the narrative that successful people like change.
But, if we’re being totally honest, which we always are on this blog, I hate change. I don’t thrive on change at all. I dread change. Change gives me anxiety and I just can’t deal.
About two weeks ago, my mom & I got hit with some news that switched up our everyday routine. A routine we were so familiar with and just felt like second nature. I spent so many days stressing over it and thinking about it nonstop. And on top of that, when I got the email that I would have to go to Ohio for the day, I started stressing over that and being upset that my everyday routine would be interrupted by this trip. Not to sound dramatic, but I just felt like I kept getting hit with all these changes and it really rattled me.
Which is what inspired today’s post. Anytime I go through something, good or bad or something I can’t process, I turn to my blog. It helps to write it out and I really do treat this blog like my diary.
How to Deal with Change:
I’ve never dealt with change very well. There’s something so comfortable and cozy about a routine. You know what to expect and anticipate and there really aren’t any grey areas. But, with change comes uncertainty. It could be a good change or a bad change, but there is still that uncertainty.
When I moved to Virginia for college, I was excited, but also terrified and it took a while for me to get accustomed into a routine. I was homesick, I missed the routine I was used to, I was uncertain if I would make friends or how I would do in my classes. Even when I started working and would find a new job, although it was my choice to leave and start fresh, I was still terrified. Did I make a mistake? Would people be nice? Could I actually do this job?
I get in my head and it takes such a toll on me stressing and questioning everything and it is just exhausting. I like my routine because I know what to expect and I can confidently go about my day and make decisions and have something to look forward to because I know what’s coming.
There’s a quote that says “nothing changes if nothing changes.” And I get it. Change can be good. Sometimes change is even necessary. You can’t complain that you’re stuck or upset over something if you don’t change. I have made strides to accept change and not take it so hard, but it’s still a battle. While I think change is good and essential at times, you need a constant in your life. You need a comfy routine to balance out the change. So while I can put on my big girl pants and roll with the changes, I can also admit that I like my routine. And I don’t think it makes me weak or unsuccessful. I think how I handle change is what defines me.
So if you’re like me and struggle with change and really you’re only pretending to deal with change to fit into the successful narrative forced upon us, here are a few of my tips on how to deal with change.
- Put things into perspective. I actually hate when people say “well there are worse things going on in the world.” Yes, I agree there are. But, my feelings and your feelings are still valid. I can recognize that someone else may have it worse than I do while still admitting, yeah what I’m going through sucks and I’m having a hard time. Rather than thinking that I can’t feel a certain way because of someone else’s issues, I use it to inspire me. If that person can overcome what they are going through then I can overcome what I’m going through.
- You’re stronger than you think. I’ve been through worse and I’ve overcome worse and bounced back. I like to tell myself that regardless of what I go through, I will always bounce back.
- My faith. I don’t talk much about religion or faith on my blog because I think it’s personal and I just don’t want to push that on someone else. But, I feel like my faith gets me through a lot of hard times. I am Catholic and have gone to a Catholic school pretty much my whole life. So I try to pray at night and anytime I feel lost or overwhelmed or scared, I’ll just take a quiet moment to myself and pray.
- Focus on the positive. I’m in my head all the time. And when one thing hits me that upsets me, I spiral and become super dramatic. I’ve learned to take a step back and focus on the positive. And when I have to deal with change, I focus on everything that is not changing, all the routines and constants that I still have that make me feel comfortable.
- Taking a moment to myself. Whenever I feel overwhelmed at life or whatever, I try to do something that relaxes me and comforts me and grounds me. That can be anything really. At work, I put on a podcast and it helps me relax and focus. During my commute, if I get in my head, I’ll put on my favorite Spotify playlist. If I’m at home, I’ll put on my favorite movies like Harry Potter, Frozen, Pitch Perfect and To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before or get lost in my blog.
I feel like these “diary-style” posts can be a lot of me rambling so I apologize! I don’t know if I made sense or even had a point. But, it’s a way for me to write it out and process it. I think the point I’m trying to make is, it’s okay if you don’t jump at joy over change. It doesn’t mean you’re not successful or you won’t be successful. I think it’s more important how you react to change and how you cope with it.
So I wanted to share how I feel about change so if you’re just like me, you don’t feel like you’re the only one who doesn’t thrive on change. And I wanted to share how I deal with change to hopefully help you if you struggle as well.
But, if you have any insights or tips or thoughts on how to deal with change, I would love to hear.
Thank you so much for reading. Have a great week!